dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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