You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Randomize
