I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
The air taste purple.
Randomize
