I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
Ladies don't puke and tell
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
