This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Randomize
