I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
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