i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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