Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
