It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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