is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
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