what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Randomize
