ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
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