you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
