just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Randomize
