theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
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