Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
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