do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Randomize
