I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
