Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
