I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
