he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
Randomize
