You really coming over, don't trick.
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
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