I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
