billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
