he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
