remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
