Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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