just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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