I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
Randomize
