This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
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