you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
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