guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Randomize
