pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
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