Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
