Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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