Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize
