Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Randomize
