What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Randomize
