butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
