after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
Randomize
