I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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