Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Randomize
