She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
