so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
