thus making me awesome and them whores
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
I want to be your penis for a week.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
