Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Randomize
