We should be called the Road Head Warriors
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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