I skipped work to stalk him.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Randomize
