May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
where am i from again
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize
