I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
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