His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
