Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
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